


You're You (and I Love You)

by treasuregyu



Series: And no matter what, I will love you [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, also there's side cheolsoohan and wonsol, but by side i mean they're mentioned and das literally it, but not too much angst lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-13 23:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14123475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treasuregyu/pseuds/treasuregyu
Summary: Mingyu has a crush on Seungkwan, and while their getting together worked out just fine, there's something that Seungkwan has a habit of saying: "You're you". Mingyu's not quite sure what it means, until he does, and he makes sure to let Seungkwan know that he feels the same way about him, and that he loves him no matter what.





	1. classic dramatics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been trying to write this gyuboo fic for like ever, and then someone asked me on curiouscat if i'd ever write gyuboo so here it is.

“Oh my god, I think I’m in love,” Mingyu let his things drop onto the table his friends were sitting at, startling all of them. Seungcheol and Hansol’s souls left their bodies while Wonwoo glared at the younger intensely.

 

“I hope you’re in love with Death, because he is  _ coming _ ,” Wonwoo picked up his textbook (the biggest one he had) and swung it at Mingyu with no hint of playfulness at all. Mingyu barely dodged being hit, and he stared at Wonwoo like he was crazy.

 

Seungcheol cleared his throat, having got himself together finally. “Alright, Wonwoo, stop trying to kill Mingyu—even though it’s  _ extremely _ justifiable,” Seungcheol deadpanned towards Mingyu and Mingyu’s face went from smug to offended within seconds.

 

“You’re all so rude—” Mingyu started.

 

“I didn’t even say anything yet!” Hansol defended himself, also having regained his soul.

 

“Rude.” Mingyu pointed at the younger, unrelenting. “I’m going through a  _ crisis  _ and you try to  _ kill _ me?”

 

“To be fair, that’s how most people our age would  _ love _ to solve their crises,” Hansol quipped, earning a look from Mingyu that screamed “rude”.

 

Seungcheol sighed, running a hand through his hair. “What is your crisis, Gyu?”

 

“Do none of you listen to me?” Mingyu pouted, finally sitting down. The three others rolled their eyes.

 

“Sorry, I was too busy trying to bargain for my soul back because of  _ somebody _ ,” Seungcheol swatted at Mingyu from across the table.

 

“Anyways, anyways, anyways,” Mingyu swatted back at Seungcheol until the older stopped trying to hit him. “my crisis is...I think that I, Kim Mingyu, the most handsome and unattainable—by choice and not by circumstance, fuck you Wonwoo—man alive...am in  _ love _ ,”

 

“Gross,” Seungcheol and Wonwoo said in unison, going back to what they were doing before. Mingyu’s face fell, and he pouted as he watched the two of them genuinely begin ignoring him. Mingyu looked towards Hansol pitifully, hoping for  _ some _ support from his so-called friends.

 

“Are you in love with Seungkwan?” Hansol questioned and it hit Mingyu in the gut. He has never felt so exposed in his life, not including the time Jeonghan sent his “amateur” (as Jeonghan so lovingly described) nudes to everyone in the group chat. Seungcheol and Wonwoo’s attention was also grabbed immediately, and they began to pay attention to the conversation once more.

 

“How—Why—Hansol, are you a psychic?” Mingyu leaned over to Hansol to whisper and Hansol only have him the most indescribable look.

 

“No, but you’re being very Seungkwan right now...like,  _ very _ Seungkwan. It’s creepy.” Hansol replied, accentuating the insult with a scoot of his chair towards Seungcheol. Wonwoo did the same, and for a moment, Mingyu wondered where did their friendship go so wrong.

 

“So, uh, what inspired this interest in Seungkwan?” Seungcheol asked with his usual goofy smile on his face that he got sometimes. Mingyu smiled, because despite all the teasing, Seungcheol still very much adored all of his friends and was always interested in everything they had going on. While more often than not, Seungcheol acted like an actual middle schooler, there  _ were _ times when was such a dad, and Mingyu always enjoyed calling him so; however, Jeonghan and Joshua had to ruin it when the three of them had started dating which is a whole other story that Mingyu didn’t want to think about at the moment.

 

“We had an assignment together, and it was like a really long one, so we ended up spending a lot more time together than usual. Even though we went back and forth a lot, and he roasted me  _ constantly _ , I got to see a lot of sides to Seungkwan that I never even noticed before,” Mingyu explained seriously.

 

“Like he’s actually genuinely really funny, even without all of the gags he usually does, and he is extremely caring. Like, during the assignment he always shut down my ideas, but when I looked through it after we got it back, he used so many of my ideas. Then he also took me out to lunch  _ and _ dinner as an apology. Also, the most important part, he’s actually really fucking cute,”

 

“See, someone gets it!” Hansol exclaimed, high-fiving Mingyu.

 

“Hansol, you always sound so in love with Seungkwan. Do we have a love triangle on our hands?” Wonwoo grinned teasingly.

 

“First of all, I think it’s safe to say that  _ everyone _ is a little bit in love with Seungkwan,” Hansol raised a brow pointedly and everyone nodded. “second of all, I am actively pursuing someone else.”

 

“Literally since when?” Seungcheol whipped around to Hansol, hand to his chest. He was offended that he didn’t know one of his favorite sons was crushing on someone  _ and _ attempting to actually date them.

 

“For a few weeks. I’d say it’s going pretty well,” Hansol grinned and his eyes glanced right across from him for a split second while Seungcheol was distracted. Wonwoo grinned as well, softening considerably as he turned away.

 

Mingyu scoffed. “You guys are disgusting, also, this is about  _ me _ and my crush on Seungkwan!”

 

“Your crush on who now?” A new voice sounded right behind Mingyu, making him jump. The other three, though, already saw the other approaching, and were unfazed. “You? Have a crush on me? Like... _ me _ me?”

 

“Seungkwan, holy shi—uh, okay, fuuuuu my life—” Mingyu stuttered, scrambling out of his seat. He stood before Seungkwan awkwardly, straightening himself out despite how unnecessary it was. Seungkwan stared at him expectantly, and he looked so cute Mingyu wanted nothing more than to cup his face and  _ kiss _ him.

 

“Oh wow, straight in for the kill,” Mingyu heard Hansol before he registered anything else. And then he felt soft cheeks in his hand and even softer lips moving against his.

 

Mingyu broke away with a gasp. “Um, I didn’t mean to—” He gaped at Seungkwan as the younger rolled his eyes.

 

“Alright, Gyu, let me ask you again,” Despite his annoyed aura, Seungkwan was breathless and flushed pink. “do you have a crush on me?”

 

Mingyu took a deep breath then nodded slowly. “Yeah, the biggest crush I’ve ever had on anyone ever,”

 

“I’m pretty sure this is the only crush you’ve ever had!” Wonwoo called out from the background.

 

“Yeah, on anyone ever!” Hansol followed up. Seungcheol simply pitied the younger and let out a string of amused chuckles. Mingyu glared at the trio—he was nothing less than horrified to find Seungcheol  _ filming everything _ —before turning back to Seungkwan who had begun to smile shyly.

 

“I can’t believe this….I mean, you’re  _ you _ !” Seungkwan erratically gestured towards all of Mingyu, and he may have even brush against Mingyu’s chest that was toning up nicely a few times. Mingyu didn’t mind at all, he expected Seungkwan to be touching a lot more things later on.

 

“And you’re you—the cutest, friendliest, most kind-hearted person on campus,” Mingyu smiled softly at Seungkwan before cupping his face again and moving closer to kiss him once more.

 

“You’ll hear from Jeonghan’s lawyer on that one,” Seungcheol finally called out, turning the video off (albeit, a bit reluctantly; he really wanted to film the second kiss).

 

“His lawyer? Really?” Mingyu and Seungkwan replied in unison, rolling their eyes together as well. The three still seated at the table made varying sounds of awe as the newly formed couple did so.

 

“Yeah, Joshua has read enough lawyer-themed fics recently to know what he’s talking about,” Seungcheol replied, pursing his lips and raising his brows. The couple sighed together and Mingyu decided it was time to gather his things and leave before his friends ruined the moment even more. He waved a less than enthusiastic ‘bye’ to the trio before clasping Seungkwan’s hand in his and heading off in the opposite direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally supposed to be a oneshot, but i decided to make this chaptered because i'm not quite satisfied with this part (since there's not much gyuboo in it jckdls), and i did want to explore seungkwan's insecurities a bit more.
> 
> i hope you enjoy!


	2. thorned roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being with Mingyu was liking picking a rose that ended up having thorns.

For the first time in Mingyu’s life, he put a little more thought into something rather than his usual “Guess I’ll wing it”.

 

Mingyu straightened himself up a bit before he knocked on the door to Seungkwan’s dorm (thirty minutes early, but Hansol made a point to inform him that being early was being on time to Seungkwan). Seungkwan opened the door obviously not expecting Mingyu to be standing there because his face shifted into surprise slowly before he smiled big and bright.

 

“Oh my god,” Seungkwan exclaimed in english. “you’re right on time. Come on in.” Seungkwan took Mingyu’s hands in his and pulled him into the dorm room. Seungkwan’s side of the room was a mess, being littered in clothes and such, and on the other side, Seokmin laid in his bed lazily scrolling on his phone. “Hey, Seok—”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Seokmin shifted over in his bed, glancing towards Mingyu before patting the now empty space. Mingyu glanced at Seungkwan and the younger ushered him over to sit, which he did somewhat awkwardly. Seokmin went back to his phone after giving Mingyu a sympathetic pat and a whispered “I don’t know if Hansol told you, but being early is being on time for Seungkwan so you can help him dress for the occasion.”

 

“Stop gossiping about me,” Seungkwan casually muttered as he stared at himself in the mirror that was too big to have any place in the less-than-spacious dorm room; he went back and forth between one shirt and the next, a light blue one and a light pink one. Mingyu envisioned that either would look great on Seungkwan, but as his eyes trailed over the clothes on his bed, he spotted a simple white button up and a maroon sweater. He remembered how Seungkwan wore that combination sometimes, and it brought a smile to his face because that’s when Seungkwan looked the absolute cutest to him. The thought inspired Mingyu to get up and grab the two articles of clothing and move over to Seungkwan. He grabbed the previously contending shirts from Seungkwan’s hands and handed the specially picked out combination to the younger.

 

“Wear these, you’ll look super cute, especially,” Mingyu trailed off, eyes roaming over Seungkwan’s messy bed again before grabbing a simple pair of black, distressed jeans. The very same jeans that he knew made Seungkwan’s ass look _great_. “with these!” The selected look was the perfect combination of cute, yet sexy that Mingyu thought Seungkwan was. Seungkwan blushed a bit as the choice of jeans, particularly because he didn’t wear them often, only for the few parties he bothered to go to and the very occasional club outing.

 

“T-thanks, I’ll be right back.” Seungkwan left the dorm room with the clothes Mingyu had picked out in tow, coming back a few moments later looking absolute fantastic. “Is it like you imagined?” Seungkwan asked shyly, placing his other set of clothes on the bed.

 

Mingyu nodded furiously. “God, yes, you look _amazing_! Doesn’t he look amazing, Seokmin?”

 

Seokmin looked up from his phone and checked Seungkwan out, giving a slow nod and a whistle to accompany it. “As expected, Mingyu the fashion king and Seungkwan the visual god. A true power couple, indeed.” Seokmin smiled big and bright as Seungkwan scoffed and went over to Seokmin to swat at him, entirely embarrassed. “Anyways, your thirty minutes are almost up, better head out now. I’ll clean up your mess, Kwannie, don’t worry about it.” Seokmin stretched out before getting up for the first time that day. He gave the two of them hugs before pushing them out of the room with a quick “Good luck!”

 

“Alright, this is happening, this is real, okay,” Seungkwan muttered, taking a deep breath before turning towards Mingyu. Mingyu had been staring at Seungkwan’s ass, and it was obvious from the way his eyes didn’t dart upwards until a few seconds after Seungkwan had turned around. “H-hey, you pervert, my eyes are up here!” Mingyu chuckled and wrapped the younger into a big hug; he pulled back only slightly to cover Seungkwan’s face in kisses, to which Seungkwan whined about, but didn’t exactly pull away himself.

 

“Sorry, I just—I like you, a lot, this is my first date ever and it’s really exciting,” Mingyu’s smile was giddy and childish, and Seungkwan couldn’t help but return the feeling. “I didn’t plan anything too crazy, we’re college kids after all, just a movie and then a little stroll at the park—the pretty one, by the way, and then we could go grab something to eat afterwards.” Mingyu explained as he took Seungkwan’s hand and they finally made their way out of the building.

 

The two walked the fairly short distance to the movie theater, which might have been a mistake considering that they had to run the rest of the way—Mingyu remembered the time of the movie wrong, and it was only discovered when Seungkwan asked to see the tickets that he bought. They ended up missing a bit of the beginning of the movie, which Mingyu apologized for several times. Seungkwan laughed it off and told him not to worry about it, especially since they didn’t miss anything too crucial that they couldn’t have deciphered later on in the movie. Overall, the first part of their date ended smoothly; Seungkwan loved the movie, Mingyu got to wrap his arm around Seungkwan in the most cliche way possible (like he always dreamed of), and they were both able to catch a bus to the pretty park that was a little ways away.

 

When they got there, the park was full of little kids and their parents. Mingyu and Seungkwan looked at each other in confusion, but they brushed it all off, considering it _was_ the nicer park in the city. They strolled through the park, trying to talk through the shrill screams of the children, and ignore the presence of everyone around them in general. However, it was somewhat very hard when every now and again, children would come up and interrogate them about their relationship only for their parents to call them back (with no genuine apologies toward the two of them). In the en, what was supposed to be a peaceful and romantic stroll in the park turned out to be chaotic and ultimately, a nightmare. When they finally exited the park, they noticed that there was an event for children happening that day. Mingyu groaned and apologized again, never in his life wanting to just crawl in a hole and die before now. Seungkwan reassured Mingyu that while it was a bit stressful, at least it wasn’t all that bad, Seungkwan even mentioned how much he loved children which made Mingyu perk up a bit.

 

On their way to get something to eat, Mingyu sparked up a conversation about children, which led to a conversation about dogs, and although Seungkwan changed the subject many times, Mingyu always ended up talking about dogs. Mingyu’s on his sixth tangent about his dog, Aji, specifically when they arrive to the cafe.

 

“You know my favorite cafe?” Seungkwan gasped as they approached the building.

 

“Of course, who _doesn’t_ know your favorite cafe?” Mingyu finally stopped talking about dogs and replied, wrapping an arm around Seungkwan’s shoulders. The cafe was a faux-French one with a bit of an Asian twist, and honestly, it was a bit expensive, but Mingyu thought it was worth it.

 

“God, I love this place, but it’s way more expensive than it has any reason being,” Seungkwan grumbled after they sat down with their orders. Mingyu breathed out a sigh of relief, glad that Seungkwan also knew how costly this place was, least for students like them that still lived off allowance from their parents because they’re “a bit too overloaded with schoolwork to get a job right now” (Mingyu’s greatest excuse and he loves that he has that in common with Seungkwan as well).

 

“I know right? But, I’ll always treat you, if you want?” Mingyu grinned, smooth(-ish) and flirty (kind of goofy, honestly), but it made Seungkwan stutter nonetheless. They were both bad at this, which made every little thing seem too good to be true. Mingyu’s flirting was greasy at best, but Seungkwan ate it up. Seungkwan tended to ramble a lot and he switched between being romantic and being like any other friend of Mingyu’s, but Mingyu found it endearing. They had a great time as they ate their late lunches, and an even better time when they shared a dessert. Mingyu had mentally cheered himself on as he completed another one of hi favorite cliche romance movie situations where he slowly wiped cream off of Seungkwan’s lips and licked it right off his own thumb. Seungkwan almost had a mental breakdown at that, and he turned redder than Mingyu had ever seen him.

 

Eventually, they were both satisfied and ready to head back to campus,  and so they gathered their trash to throw away before heading out the door.

 

_“Are those two seriously dating?” A gasp._

 

_“It’s like watching the Hunchback in real time.” A snort._

 

_“Did tall, dark, and handsome lose a bet or something?” Another sound of disapproval._

 

Mingyu was halfway past the cafe before he noticed Seungkwan wasn’t beside him. He looked back, and the younger was lingering behind with his head held low.

 

“Seungkwan? Come on, don’t wanna miss the bus, right?” Mingyu held out his hand, but Seungkwan didn’t take it. Seungkwan apologized lightly as he picked up his pace, but he kept a small distance between him and Mingyu. Even on the bus, where the two had previously been leaned into each other and chatting together happily, they were now sitting in separated silence. Mingyu tried often to start a conversation with Seungkwan, and while the younger would reply, the conversations never lasted for long. Mingyu didn’t want to give up, but when he glanced at Seungkwan before trying to start another conversation, Seungkwan suddenly looked very drained and tired. Mingyu deflated, and when Seungkwan finally rested back with closed eyes, Mingyu’s hand hovered over his cheek for a moment, dying for even the smallest touch, but eventually Mingyu simply put it back down.

 

Their way back to Seungkwan’s dorm was just as quiet, but slightly more awkward. Mingyu wanted to chalk it up to the day finally catching up to Seungkwan, but before they officially parted at the door, Seungkwan rejected Mingyu’s goodbye kiss.

 

“Kwannie? What’s wrong?” Mingyu’s pouted as his brows furrowed, and he straightened. He stared at Seungkwan as he usually did, but it didn’t feel good this time. Seungkwan’s expression seemed more than just drained and tired, he seemed _sad_ , and that hurt Mingyu more than anything.

 

“Nothing, it’s just—” Seungkwan chuckled dryly, and when he looked up at Mingyu, his eyes shone in the worst way possible. Mingyu wanted to cup Seungkwan’s cheeks, but Seungkwan held him away. “what was I thinking...I’m me, and you—you’re you...I’m sorry, Gyu. Today was fun, I’ll...I’ll see you later...I guess.” Seungkwan gulped and bit down on his lower lip before turning around quickly and heading back into his dorm.

 

Mingyu stood there for a moment, mind reeling and hands twitching. He wanted to hold Seungkwan, wanted to kiss him, wanted to make him smile again, but Seungkwan was stubborn. Mingyu was a bit dense sometimes, but he wasn’t stupid—he had been pushed away enough times already to get the message. Mingyu sighed, running a hand through his hair that no longer needed to keep it’s styling and he finally turned away from the door of Seungkwan and Seokmin’s dorm, heading back to his own with conflicting feelings of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna hurt the anonymous people for hurting seungkwan, and then i'm gonna hurt myself because i did that fjkdlsl


	3. social shocker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love isn't all you need, but sometimes it sure does help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update because i actually wrote this chapter before chapter 2!

Seungkwan had been off for a few days after their first date, and at first, Mingyu didn’t think anything of it. He was something like a pro of coming up with all kinds of scenarios that could have happened within the few times they weren’t together after their date.

 

Another one of Seungkwan’s classmates pissed him off, most likely unknowingly, but there was always the occasional situation where it was 100% knowingly. Or, Mingyu thought, it could have been a professor. Having a professor piss Seungkwan off was more on the unlikely side, but it wasn’t an impossible probability. Nonetheless, these two options were ruled out by Hansol and Wonwoo as soon as Mingyu had gotten them out of his mouth because if those two scenarios were the case, then Boo Seungkwan would have let the entire  _ world _ know his grievances.

 

So Mingyu tried again.

 

He thought about the possibility that it could have been a total stranger, or maybe something nonhuman. And before Mingyu could get off on a tangent about animals or even alien lifeforms, Seungcheol chimed in with an unnecessary, “Maybe  _ you _ did something?” and he made the face where he pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows again and Mingyu glared at him.

 

“The date was perfect, I’m telling you! We went to see a movie, and then we took a stroll through the park—the one with the nice pond and pretty garden, by the way!—and then we got hungry and I brought him to his favorite cafe. You know, the faux-French one with a bit of an Asian twist to it that is more expensive than it has any right to be?” Mingyu explained, deciding that if he left out the little hiccups that happened prior to the cafe visit, no one had to know other than him.

 

“I hope you didn’t mention that to Seungkwan,” Wonwoo quipped with a quirked brow and an amused smirk.

 

“Of course not!” Mingyu pouted. “He said it for me,”

 

Hansol snorted. “Typical Seungkwan,”

 

“ _ Anyways _ ,” Mingyu cleared his throat dramatically. “We had lunch at the cafe, everything was great, conversation was as amazing as always. It was after we left when he started being a little weird. Like he wouldn’t hold my hand, wouldn’t even look at me, and our conversations actually died. Like, Boo Seungkwan? Let a conversation die?”

 

“Did anything happen while you guys were leaving?” Seungcheol questioned, a little concerned now. Wonwoo and Hansol were a bit on the concerned side as well now. Mingyu was glad they were finally taking this seriously.

 

“Uh, I don’t think so?” Mingyu furrowed his brows and leaned back into his chair, thinking hard about what could have possibly happened as they were leaving. After a few moments of thinking, Mingyu sighed and sat upright, coming up empty. Although, he does remember  _ something _ from when Mingyu dropped Seungkwan off back at his dorm. “Well, I don’t remember anything happening at the cafe or anything, but when I dropped him off, he didn’t kiss me like usual. I asked him what’s wrong, and he just said what he usually says, something about “You’re you,” or whatever. I really don’t understand why he keeps saying that, like what is that supposed to mean? Yes I’m me, and he’s him, and I  _ like _ him—a lot!” Mingyu gesticulated wildly, obviously frustrated now that he started thinking about.

 

The trio in front of Mingyu softened considerably, especially Hansol. “Look, Gyu,” Hansol reached over to take Mingyu’s hand in his. Mingyu would usually wave him off, but the look in everyone’s eyes told him that this was supposed to be a serious moment. “I think you should talk to Seungkwan. Like, really talk to him. He’s...well, you’ll understand. Just—yeah.” Hansol squeezed Mingyu’s hand and when Mingyu looked towards Wonwoo and Seungcheol, they nodded as well. Mingyu took a deep breath and agreed, gathering his things before waving goodbye to his friends.

 

He made his way over to Seungkwan’s dorm with an uneasy feeling in his gut, but he refused to acknowledge it. Mingyu prided himself on being optimistic and a mood lightener, and he hoped that whatever was going on with Seungkwan could be solved easily and quickly. Not that he didn’t care, but Seungkwan’s out there, loud, cheerful personality was easily missed when it was gone, and it has been gone for far too long. It was even starting to bum  _ Seokmin _ out, of all people.

 

“Oh, Gyu,” Mingyu jogged up to Seungkwan with a huge smile on his face and he hugged the smaller happily. Seungkwan’s reciprocated hug was less than enthusiastic and he pulled away all too quickly. “what are you doing here?”

 

Mingyu pouted, but it didn’t last for long. “I wanted to talk, actually. I mean, after our date, we haven’t really hung out at all? I miss you, and I’m worried about you, babe. I’m worried about  _ us _ ,” Seungkwan bristled, and Mingyu could see the hesitation in Seungkwan’s entire being.

 

Seungkwan sighed. “Sorry, of course, come in. Seokmin is going to be out for a while anyways,” Seungkwan opened the door to his dorm and Mingyu followed closely behind. If it weren’t for their weird atmosphere, he would have surely made the dirty comment that was on the tip of his tongue, fighting to make its way out of his mouth. Mingyu closed the door behind them and he immediately made a beeline for Seungkwan’s bed, setting his stuff aside somewhere neatly. Seungkwan didn’t join Mingyu like usual, though, opting to sit in his desk chair.

 

“So,” Mingyu started awkwardly. After Seungkwan didn’t even think twice about  _ not _ cuddling up next to Mingyu, or even at least  _ sitting _ on the bed, Mingyu had sat up and became a bit serious once more. “are you...okay? Did something happen during our date? Did  _ I _ do something?”

 

“No, it’s just…” Seungkwan trailed off, fiddling with his hands and avoiding eye contact. Mingyu moved a bit closer towards Seungkwan expectantly. “like I said, you’re you…you’re tall, dark, and handsome. You’re Kim Mingyu, the most desirable guy on campus. The guy everyone loves, and no one could have, or should have...especially not me, apparently…” Seungkwan’s voice trailed off, getting unbelievably small.

 

“Seungkwan, that’s ridiculous.” Mingyu rolled his eyes. He got up from the bed and tried to hug Seungkwan again, but the younger got up as well and walked passed him.

 

“It’s not ridiculous, Mingyu, it’s how things  _ work _ .” Seungkwan responded, becoming more and more antsy, unable to stay still.

 

“Okay, well, that can be how things work, but not how  _ I _ work. I love you, Seungkwan, and that’s all that matters,” Mingyu pleaded, trailing after Seungkwan who was nervously pacing around his dorm.

 

“Stop  _ saying  _ that! That’s not all that matters, Mingyu!” Seungkwan stopped in his tracks, weakly pushing Mingyu away who bumped into him due to the sudden stop. “You’re you, and I’m—!” Seungkwan cut himself off, and he took in a shaky breath, his mouth trembled and he clenched his raised hand, slowly bringing into his chest. Mingyu didn’t know what to do, nor what to say. He just stood there, a breaths away from Seungkwan, furrowed brows and deep frown and all.

 

“And I’m me...People who look like you don’t associate with people who look like me. Everyone knows that; I know it very well, and I’m sure you know it too. You say it doesn’t matter, but it  _ does _ , Gyu. At least to me, because I don’t have the luxury of it not having to matter. I never have…” Seungkwan bit down on his bottom lip hard, possibly pretending that the tears that were streaming down his face were from the physical pain instead of his emotional pain. Mingyu finally stepped forward, though, and he wrapped Seungkwan into his arms and pressed him tightly to his chest. Mingyu held Seungkwan like he was trying to keep the younger together, but it was futile. Seungkwan was falling right through Mingyu’s cracks that he didn’t even know he had—and that may have been Seungkwan’s doing, because the way the younger had grown to learn that his place was at the bottom of the barrell, that he didn’t deserve to have this kind of love and happiness, broke Mingyu.

 

“Kwannie,” Mingyu’s voice was quieter and shakier than it had ever been in his life. He buried his face into the top of Seungkwan’s head, clutching at the back of Seungkwan’s shirt before pulling away slightly. Mingyu clutched Seungkwan’s face into his hands, as gentle as ever, and he simply stared at the younger. Seungkwan was as unsightly as anyone else were when they were a sobbing mess, but it was an endearing kind of unsightly that made Mingyu’s heart swell. Mingyu stroked Seungkwan’s cheeks slowly and softly with his thumbs, wiping away the tears that never stopped falling, and then he was leaning in. Mingyu kissed the life out of Seungkwan, or at least he tried to, because if Seungkwan wouldn’t listen to his words (or, well, Mingyu has learned that it was more like Seungkwan “couldn’t bring himself to listen” instead of wouldn’t), then Mingyu would show him through his actions.

 

Mingyu kissed Seungkwan through his tears, and Seungkwan kissed him back weakly. They pressed their bodies close together, and when Mingyu got tired of leaning over, he bent down slightly to hike Seungkwan up with little to no effort. Seungkwan made a little noise of surprise, and if Mingyu smirked at the little shiver that had gone through Seungkwan’s body, then everyone would know since it resulted in a smack to his shoulder, of course. Mingyu laughed it off, as per usual, and twirled them around until they were falling onto Seungkwan’s bed less than gracefully, which wasn’t anything unexpected considering it was Mingyu. Mingyu and Seungkwan finally broke apart, the taller hovering over Seungkwan while breathing heavily. He was smiling big and wide, fangs bared and all, and Seungkwan felt a little bad that there were also tears in his eyes despite his happy expression.

 

“You look like a huge mess,” Mingyu chuckled, making Seungkwan groan and turn away. Mingyu refused to let him do so, though, and turned his head back. “but I’m glad I’m here to make you look and feel better. I love you, Kwannie, and I know it may be hard to accept, but that is truly what matters most. I love you, everyone else in our friend group loves you, the professors love you. And it doesn’t matter if you don’t fit into everyone else’s constricting boxes of attractiveness, because you fit just right in ours. If you need any proof, just talk to Hansol especially, and Seungcheol—oh, and definitely Jeonghan, you’ll never hear the end of how amazing you are from him. There’s also Wonwoo, Junhui, Seokmin is another one who would write an essay about you, possibly Soonyoung, too, but his essays are  _ terrible _ —”

 

Seungkwan sighed, but this time it was lighthearted, and he pulled Mingyu in for another kiss. Mingyu grinned and leaned back into Seungkwan happily, and while the two did spend a majority of their time making out, Mingyu made sure to talk with Seungkwan about any and everything else that he was concerned with (especially since he never got an answer to what exactly happened on their date earlier).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gyuboo cuddles are GOOD and VALID


	4. you're you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i started this fic, i mentioned there would be smut aka this part, but i didn't feel like doing it anymore lmao  
> however, it is still a bit spicy...like a teeny bit spicy

“Gyu…” Seungkwan muttered quietly. Mingyu only hummed, continuing his ministrations as he did so, which made Seungkwan shiver from the soft buzz that tingled his skin. “this is...weird…?”

 

Mingyu stopped at this. “Bad weird?” He questioned, looking ready to stop at the slightest indication that Seungkwan was uncomfortable.

 

Seungkwan mulled over it for a bit, and the more he thought about what they were doing, the more his skin flushed and tingled with the memories. Eventually, he sat up a bit and looked directly towards Mingyu, shaking his head slowly. “No...just weird. You sure you don’t want more than this?”

 

“I’m sure, babe.” Mingyu smiled brightly, crawling back up to Seungkwan to kiss him soft and slow. Usually, Seungkwan was kiss back probably far too eagerly, but the softness of their entire situation made him a bit dazed—and if he were being honest, possibly a bit more emotional too. Mingyu pulled back, reeling himself back in and resuming what he was doing before. He moved back down Seungkwan’s body, ghosting his lips over the skin where he had pressed gentle kisses earlier. Mingyu took Seungkwan’s hand back into his own and continued kissing his appendages, one by one, slowly and generously.

 

Seungkwan watched as Mingyu marveled his body like he was a work of art—something precious and important, something not meant to be damaged or lost, something to be loved. Seungkwan wanted to cry, honestly. He expected Mingyu to seriously take a more sexual approach to body worshipping, and he spent so much time working himself up for it, too. And yet, Mingyu invited him over and mentioned something about advice from Wonwoo and Hansol and how they got over their own insecurities and general shyness with their own bodies; Mingyu took everything slowly after Seungkwan dazedly agreed, asking for confirmation to do  _ anything _ several times before actually doing it, always asking him is everything was okay, letting Seungkwan know he was ready to stop at any time. It was an experience, really, and when Seungkwan zoned back in and found Mingyu softly pressing kisses to his shoulder, arms wrapped around the younger tenderly, preciously, like he was art, Seungkwan did actually start crying this time.

 

“Kwannie?” Mingyu alternated between wiping and kissing away Seungkwan’s tears, and it only made Seungkwan more emotional. Mingyu pulled Seungkwan into him, letting the younger cry into his shoulder. “Are you okay?” Seungkwan tried to calm down enough to answer Mingyu, taking a few deep breaths through soft sobs. He pulled back and, before answering, just stared at Mingyu. The taller, older male softened a bit as Seungkwan had started crying, but he was still concerned.

 

Seungkwan smiled and cupped Mingyu’s cheeks, raising himself a bit to kiss Mingyu deeply. “Yeah, I’m more than okay.” Seungkwan reassured against Mingyu’s lips after he had pulled back from the kiss. Mingyu smiled, maneuvering them so that Seungkwan was now straddling his lap. The two pressed their bare chests together as they continued kissing, doing nothing more than simply enjoying each other’s presence and warmth. At some point, Mingyu began to slowly leaned forward, pushing Seungkwan onto his back. Mingyu kissed gentle trails down Seungkwan’s neck and chest again, but this time he went towards Seungkwan’s stomach, an area which he was instructed away from earlier.

 

“This is okay, right?” Mingyu questioned, looking up towards Seungkwan for confirmation. Seungkwan hesitated, which prompted Mingyu to start pulling away, but the younger male stopped him.

 

“No, no, it’s okay. I trust you...I love you,” Seungkwan broke eye contact immediately after saying it, opting to stare at the ceiling. Mingyu chuckled and Seungkwan felt the soft, warm breaths on the skin of his stomach and it made him shiver. Mingyu kissed Seungkwan’s stomach slowly, making it his mission to appreciate every inch of skin. What he hadn’t been able to kiss yet, Mingyu rubbed at in gentle circles with his thumb. Sometimes, Mingyu would lick at Seungkwan’s skin, and Seungkwan could tell he was suppressing groans and going any further than little licks here and there, because Mingyu would inhale sharply and still for a moment, reeling himself back in.

 

The two of them continued on like that for a while, Mingyu kissing and rubbing at Seungkwan’s stomach, occasionally licking him here and there while trying to keep himself together—which, Seungkwan noticed, he was doing a poor job with, since the younger felt Mingyu’s bulge brush against his knee or thigh more than a few times. Seungkwan couldn’t say he was doing much better, though, because he is pretty sure he has torn his bottom lip to pieces from how much he had been biting it while trying not to moan out himself. It was easier when Mingyu was pressing soft, appreciative kisses to his fingers, his arms, his shoulders, and even his back. But there was something intimate and overly arousing about Mingyu kissing his stomach; he got a decent idea about what it was, though, when he had glanced downwards before, and got a wonderful view of the top of Mingyu’s head moving around in slight rhythmic bobs.

 

“Seungkwannie,” Mingyu crawled back up to Seungkwan’s face; he looked a few steps away from coming undone. “I think we should stop here.”

 

“Yeah, same,” Seungkwan chuckled and cupped one of Mingyu’s cheeks endearingly.

 

“Also,” Mingyu started, grabbing their shirts from beside the bed and handing Seungkwan’s back to him.

 

“Also?” Seungkwan asked as they slipped their shirts on with ease and settled under Mingyu’s covers.

 

“I love how you’re not only smart, but also kind of a smart ass too; however, that doesn’t mean that you’re not also extremely kind and caring. I love how funny you are, when you’re trying to be and when you’re not trying to be. I love how your favorite cafe is pretentious and expensive, and you know it. I love how talented you are musically, and I can’t wait to see you become successful in the future. I love your voice, your smile, your laugh, your habits, everything. You’re you—so completely and totally, absolutely you—and I love you.” Mingyu rambled against the top of Seungkwan’s head, pulling the younger closer to him with every passing confession.

 

Seungkwan didn’t know what to say, and honestly, he  _ couldn’t _ really say anything because he had started crying again. Mingyu chuckled through Seungkwan’s tears and his awkward smacks to his shoulder. Through his sobs, Seungkwan kept muttering about how much he loved Mingyu, and every little thing about Mingyu that he loved as well. When Seungkwan calmed down enough to talk properly, the two of them continued going back and forth while discussing the little habits that they each had that the other enjoyed. Eventually, Seungkwan had tired himself out, and Mingyu, feeling a bit tired himself, snuggled them under the covers more before they both fell asleep into each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this!  
> i feel like the ending is a bit awkward, but i honestly never know how to end fics sjkdlsl

**Author's Note:**

> my main twitter: @treasuregyu  
> my writing twitter: @uzumakidahyun  
> hope you enjoyed ♡


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